Sunday, April 8, 2007

the worst book i've ever read.

it's April somethinth, and it's freakin' snowing. i do NOT live in Marquette, so why the hell is it snowing? learn how to make this delish potato gratin, or scroll all the way down to read my real thoughts on what has to be the worst book i've ever read.

Gratin Savoyard. this dish will cost you about $15, and $10 of that will be just the cheese.
you'll need:
2 lbs new potatoes
1 1/2 cups grated Grueyere cheese (i just buy a block & grate it myself)
2 tbsp butter
salt & pepper

preheat oven to 400.

scrub and peel the potatoes, keeping them in a large bowl of cool water until you are read to slice them.

grease a shallow caserole dish. layer the ingredients in the following manner: slices potatoes, sprinkle of salt/pepper, cheese, sprinkle of nutmeg, dots of butter. go light on the salt, as this is a rather salty cheese. you should end up with 2 or 3 layers of this, depending on the size of your dish. make sure the top layer is cheese- nutmeg - dots of butter.

bake at 400 for 15 minutes, then turn the heat down to 350 and bake for 20-30 minutes, or until the potatoes are soft. let sit 5 minutes before serving.

that was easy! you survived the suspense!

i recently wrote a book review of Anthony William's Scales. This was the hardest review i've ever written because it was the worst book i've ever read. i needed to be honest, yet tactful in my review, but i don't have to be tactful in my own damn blog, do i? go read the review, tell me if it is tactful or not.

it annoys me to no end when reviewers are "nice", or "polite", because they don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. not every author is going to be the next Robert Jordan, or the next Wil McCarthy, or whomever. This isn't a bad thing.

if every other sentence in the book start with "I", and the characters are flatter than pancakes, and there is no central plot line just unfinished episodes, and characters have the long term memory of a fruit fly, and it just gets worse from there, why should i say "this book isn't for me, but maybe others would like it?" That would be dishonest to everyone involved. i had fears my article would start some kind of shitstorm, but all's been quiet on the western front. and don't even get me started on the fact that this book was "self published". meaning the author paid to have it printed. barf.

note to any and all authors who request i read and review their books: i will be honest. promise.

luckily, i've moved onto bigger (and smaller) and better things. on the plate at the moment is Jennifer Caress's Perverted Realities. what a bizarre title! this 100-page novella is short and sweet. Story lines are reminiscent of old school Stephen King, where his short stories were somewhat open ended, to force the reader to wonder if the good guys won or not. i like that. her two main characters are a little on the freaky side. they think they are normal, so the reader has an easy time thinking they are normal. So some cheers to Caress. I think she's got potential to be a quality story teller, as some funky grammatical problems are easy fixes. Review to be posted. . . soon.

complete opposite of that 100-pager would be the first book in Robert Jordan's wheel of time The Eye of the World. I don't plan to turn into an obsessive WOT-er, but Jordan's characterization is some of the best, if not the best i've ever read. and sure, it's got that Tolkien feel, and the foreshadowing smacks you over the head like a ton of bricks, but it is very enjoyable. a healthy escape. and it is SO nice to read fantasy where the chicks aren't just damsels in distress, waiting for their boytoys to come of age and save them.


Sandusky said...


It saddens me that you responded more positively to Jordan than you did to Martin.

Jordan sucks. In about 4 books you'll be ready to slit your wrists.

Leave it, now, while you have a chance. I simply cannot bear to see you glammed like this.

Sandusky said...

oh yeah, new blog link

JenniferCaress said...

Well thanks for reading Perverted Realities. I'm glad you liked it. I would apologize for the grammatical errors, but it won't do any good since I just keep making them. ;) I try and pretend that it is "my thing" and that I am trying to start a new fad. Sadly, nobody has bought that...damn it. :)

Thanks again,

Jennifer "Grammar Trend Setter" Caress